I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
