What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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