bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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