How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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