I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
