Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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