she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize