worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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