are you still at the devil's house?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
