Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
