I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
