its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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