Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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