In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
