I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
