the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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