but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
