Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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