my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
