i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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