If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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