I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
