You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm jealous of your bromance
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
