He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
