ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
