I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
