guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Randomize
