i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
