When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
