im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Randomize
