I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
