im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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