chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
