So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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