Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
well you can't waste a boner
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
