Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
