You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
not ubering you a puppy
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
