Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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