apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
