once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
