yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
