Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
