The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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