His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
