I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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