fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
