Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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