i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
COCAINE IS GR8
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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