Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
