I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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