The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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