Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
