So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
