just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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