"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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