please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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