Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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