So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We got so high we made milksteak
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's official drugs can't kill me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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