i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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